It's not that easy, to be me.

Chris Martin from the band Coldplay, couldn't have said it better in his song "fix you"..
"When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want, but not what you need"..

This line basically sums up my life as of right now. Unfortunately, things this semester are taking a rotten turn like last semester. It's very annoying and very depressing everyday to think. "why am I giving it my all and ending up empty handed?"

some may say that I'm NOT giving it my all, by results..but believe me I AM!
I'm the kind of person who sometimes tries very hard, but ends up getting screwed over,
and that is exactly what is happening right now. It sucks, but I'm used to being disappointed, unfortunately. This feeling is nothing new to me, but it brings me down, and gives me absolutly no hope that there will ever be improvement.

But what do you do when you feel like your at your wits end? When you feel like this is it..I'm done wasting time and money doing something that I'm not good at and know I will NEVER be good at it. My major is not math, it is Human Services, which does NOT involve math. So why, why WHY am I forced to do this? I was never ever EVER good at mathematics..never..and now this is big time, where if I don't do well, I'm cut from the college. I want to finish my four years out, I absolutely do NOT want to be kicked out because of something that will NEVER change with me. It isn't my attitude or the way I think about it, IT IS WHAT IT IS and it will ALWAYS be that way.

right now, I could punch someone/something.